


Home

by Lamenta



Category: Dragon Age II
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Fenris and Justice are friends with minor obstacles, Fenris discovers new instincts, Fenris uses demon as term of endearment, Fluff, Humor, Justice learned things, M/M, Mating Bond, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mild Sexual Content, Post-Game(s), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Recovery, and now he's meddling, fugitive boyfriends lost in Thedas, mentions of scars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-15
Updated: 2016-02-15
Packaged: 2018-05-20 20:49:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6024331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lamenta/pseuds/Lamenta
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a companion piece to "<a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/4551570">Apples and Cinnamon</a>" in the spirit of Valentine's Day. It was posted on tumblr last night but it got late and I was too tired to transfer it to here xD</p><p>Happy (belated) Valentine's Day and I hope you enjoy!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Home

It was the eerie blue glow that made Fenris speed up his steps. His heart began to beat madly in his chest as he first jogged, than ran, believing that the moment he’d feared had finally come.

 

For months, he had waited for it to happen, though Fenris could not say what _it_ was. The thought had often kept him up at nights, had made him check on the mage more regularly, which Anders had requited with a frown and a question in his eyes. He knew Anders believed Fenris was waiting for him to snap, to lose it completely, and do something more terrifying than blow up a Chantry.

 

Fenris, in fact, was worried what would happen to Anders if Justice finally resurfaced. There had been no trace of the Fade spirit for months; not while Anders was just a breath away from crumbling, constantly arguing with the elf, constantly suspecting him of leaving the mage behind and return to Kirkwall to do what was right – clear up the mess the mage had left behind.

 

There was no trace of Justice when Anders, eventually, began to work through his self-doubts and the consuming self-hatred that Fenris wished he could take away forever, just so Anders would be able to stop looking back and instead focus on their – yet unknown, admittedly – future.

 

Anders had done well these past weeks, to Fenris’ relief. Had dared to make plans for them, discussing where they should look for a place to settle for good, made jokes and given Fenris all his attention and tenderness.

 

Fenris stormed into their small camp. They were somewhere between Nevarra and Orlais, away from the rough storms raging across the Waking Sea and the promise of a cold winter coming upon the Free Marches. The nights were mild, much like Fenris remembered the nights in the Imperium to be. He had taken to hunt at night, since chances of being successful were higher. Fenris hoped he did not have to regret the decision of leaving Anders by himself tonight.

 

His run came to a halt just a step away from the small fire. Pools of blue glanced up and regarded him calmly, while Fenris slowly lowered the two rabbits he’d caught to the ground.

 

“ **Elf** ,” the spirit greeted calmly. Anders’ body was sitting upright on the bedroll, back straight and head lifted, a challenging expression on his face.

 

“Justice,” Fenris acknowledged. “It has been a while. I was almost hoping you were gone for good.”

 

“ **We cannot be separated** ,” Justice felt necessary to remind. “ **A fact you were aware of. Though I do understand why you would wish as such**.”

 

“Do you now?” the elf asked as he crossed his arms. “Then I suppose you also understand why I am not happy to see you.”

 

Justice – Anders – frowned. It seemed like it was searching its own mind for an answer. The spirit had done so often in the past, whenever Fenris happened to speak to it while Anders rested. Fenris had to admit to himself that he thought it was fascinating that Justice was suddenly eager to _learn_. Understand people, emotions, even the necessity of lying for the greater good.

 

“ **We have disappointed you** ,” Justice pointed out, words chosen carefully. “ **We made you distrustful of us and our intentions**.”

 

“Only _yours_ , Justice. I do trust Anders.”

 

Again, the spirit considered his words and Fenris closed the distance between them, sitting on the ground next to Anders’ bedroll.

 

“I realize it was _both_ of you who blew up the Chantry and forced us to leave our home,” Fenris said calmly. “And I never thanked you for keeping Anders alive, as I had asked you to. So, thank you.”

 

“ **Keeping us alive was priority** ,” Justice said simply, though to Fenris, it looked like the spirit was – embarrassed? “ **It was you who saved our life in the first place**.”

 

“And Hawke and Merrill,” Fenris added. “I wouldn’t have been able to get Anders away from Kirkwall if they hadn’t stopped Sebastian from coming after us.”

 

“ **They proved themselves true friends**.”

 

“And we might never be able to repay them.” Fenris crossed his legs, easing the strain in his lower back by leaning forward a little. He’d spent what had felt like half an eternity crouched on the ground, waiting for prey. “Why now? Where have you been the past months?”

 

The expression on Anders’ face became sad. “ **He could have not born my presence. He was in great turmoil, difficult to reach even for me.** **I decided to pull back as far as I could while he heals**.” Justice paused. “ **He worried my presence would make you leave. So did I.** ”

 

Fenris huffed, a small smile grazing his lips. “Why, did you grow attached to me, demon?”

 

“ **You are a part of us** ,” Justice pointed out, “ **bound by ancient magic, strong and unbreakable. We have chosen this bond, as have you. We can feel that Anders depends on this bond. He wouldn’t have made it on his own**.”

 

It was the elf’s turn to frown. Anders had voiced something similar during the past weeks, expressing his gratitude that Fenris had stayed, even though the mage did not deserve it. Fenris figured it would take a while to get through Anders’ ridiculously thick skull, but he had not anticipated that Justice considered itself bonded to him as well.

 

It was an odd thought – and strangely touching, too.

 

“ **Anders is annoyingly discouraged, I find** ,” Justice spoke up again, a small huff accompanying his words. “ **He wishes to do something for you. Something to express this chaos of emotions connected to your name and face. Something to make you happy.** ”

 

Fenris blinked. “Pardon?”

 

“ **He does not know what to do. It has been occupying his mind for days**.”

 

“And you…decided to show yourself again to – what, help him?”

 

“ **Is that not something a friend would do**?”

 

Fenris couldn’t help but chuckle, both in relief and amusement. When he’d become aware of Justice’s presence, he had prepared for the worst. Instead, he found himself in probably the most ridiculous conversation he’d had with the spirit _yet_.

 

“ **Why is this amusing to you**?” Justice demanded to know.

 

“Because it makes no sense for a being that usually doesn’t understand emotion.”

 

“ **It is only just to help him** ,” the spirit replied petulantly and it only made Fenris laugh more. It also made him wonder just exactly _what_ effect the bonding mark – the two bonding marks, to be correct – truly had not only on his mage, but the spirit sharing his body. Merrill had told him once that it was not as described in her old books, that bonding with a human did not come with the same strong effects as it did between elves. Fenris occasionally suspected she might have not told him the complete truth.

 

“The only thing that would make me happy right now is for Anders to find closure and just _live_ ,” Fenris told the spirit once he had sobered up. “To stop lingering in the shadows of his past. That includes you too, I’m afraid.”

 

They exchanged a look and Fenris knew Justice understood. It was the expression on Anders’ face, _their_ face, one he was familiar with after many nights of amicable conversations.

 

He watched Anders’ body sink to the ground, curling in on himself immediately and Justice was, once again, gone. Fenris inched closer and lay down next to the mage, one hand caressing over a pale, freckled cheek with a smile. “Don’t stray too far, _demon_ ,” he admonished Justice gently, “for you’re the one thing that protects him from evils far greater than the plight of mages.” Anders snuffled and Fenris’ smile widened, wondering if it was Justice’s petulant response or Anders’.

 

 

Anders had no recollection of Fenris’ conversation with Justice when he woke up. It told Fenris the spirit had kept their talk to itself. The mage did look well-rested, though and was more than happy to see two fat rabbits that would serve as breakfast and lunch for the day. Fenris knew the mage’s praises concerning his hunting skills shouldn’t make him feel proud and pleased; it was ridiculous to feel pride over something as simple as hunting, as he had done it often in the past and never felt pride over it. He supposed it had something to do with their bond and some deep-down instinct that made him feel proud to be able to provide for his mate.

 

 

~*~

 

There was something about their surroundings that gave Anders an odd feeling of _hope_.

 

After leaving the bank of Minanter River, which had provided them with an endless supply of water, they had to live off what they had filled into their water skins and when no source of fresh water came in sight again, Anders had worried. He wasn’t familiar with this part of Thedas at all. He knew the further north they went, the closer they got to the Anderfels. It also meant they were strolling along the borders of Tevinter and it was making them both uneasy.

 

Anders had no memory of the Anderfels. All he knew were stories his father had told when he’d been a little boy, and whatever he had managed to read about the country while still living in the Circle. All that connected him to the Anderfels was his name; a name given to him by the Templars. The only thing he had willingly accepted from them.

 

The rest, he had been forced to accept for a long time, until Anders had decided to fight back.

 

Finding a lake in the middle of the thick forest felt like a sign. Anders paused at the sight, forcing Fenris to pause his steps as well. His hand was held tightly in Fenris’. It was something the elf had simply started to do, shortly after they had escaped Kirkwall, and never stopped. Anders knew that, at first, it was Fenris’ way to ensure that Anders wouldn’t just turn around and run; more than once, Fenris had to pull him along when Anders’ legs refused to obey.

 

By now, it was just something they did while they walked. Anders didn’t think he’d ever take pleasure in holding hands with the person he loved. He thought it was childish and something that shouldn’t be so important in his age.

 

But he loved it. He did, in fact, get nervous when Fenris wasn’t holding his hand as they walked because that never meant something good.

 

“What is it?” Fenris asked.

 

“Let’s stay here,” Anders decided. “We need to refill our water skins anyway and this place is…” He looked around. It was _something_. Fenris’ eyebrows rose questioningly but he did not object.

 

“Let us make camp then. This place is as good as any.”

 

It was indeed. They had steadily marched the first few days, leaving the Free Marches behind and crossing the border to Nevarra. They had followed the Minanter River up until a small village of not very friendly hunter families. To avoid trouble, they had left the riverside, finding themselves surrounded by nothing but deserted plains and, eventually, forest. They hadn’t seen a single soul since the little village and sometimes, Anders wondered if the world around them ceased to exist and they were the only ones left and didn’t know it yet.

 

“Mage.”

 

Anders blinked and glanced at the elf. “Hm?”

 

“You were lost in thoughts. Are you alright?” Fenris asked. Anders smiled in response and gave Fenris’ hand a tight squeeze.

 

“I’ll do the hunting tonight, love.”

 

Fenris’ frown deepened. Was that suspicion? Anders sighed inwardly. And here he had hoped they were past this. “Why?”

 

“Because you will get a good night’s sleep this time. I’m done being useless.”

 

Fenris huffed, the corners of his mouth quirking up into a half-smile. Again, the elf was not objecting and Anders was left to curse himself for thinking there had been suspicion in the elf’s eyes.

 

~*~

 

He found it at the crack of dawn. The silhouette had caught Anders’ attention as he was sneaking after another wonderfully fat rabbit that he planned to make a nice soup with. He had a pouch filled with herbs to go with it, but the rabbit had proven incredibly stubborn, dodging his lightning bolts.

 

The rabbit was forgotten when Anders conjured a tiny flame of Veil fire to have a proper look at his discovery.

 

And realized that his often questionable sixth sense that Hawke had liked to call sheer paranoia had not proven him wrong.

 

This was it. And it was _perfect_.

 

The cottage looked like it hadn’t been used in a while, but Anders had soon learned that looks could be deceiving. He snuck around it, glanced inside through the dirty windows and listened for any suspicious sounds. Once assured that there was nothing to worry about, he reached for the handle of the front door and pushed it down.

 

The door opened with a creak and Anders shuddered at the sound before bravely taking a step inside. The Veil fire in his palm gained in size, illuminating the room. It smelled moldy and dusty, confirming that this place had indeed not seen any inhabitants in a long while. Other than the terrible air, the place looked in surprisingly good shape. There was furniture; a table, three chairs, a dresser and a closet that reached up to the ceiling. There wasn’t much space between the top of his head and the ceiling, but he could stand comfortably. There was a bed, its covers having fallen victim to moths and Anders was pretty sure he smelled urine when he took a closer look at it. There was ash in the fireside and a pewter pot that lay on the ground only a foot away from it. There were shelves; there was even a tiny storage room, which Anders had almost missed if he hadn’t tripped over what suspiciously looked like a dead fox and bumped into the narrow door with his shoulder.

 

The curtains on the windows were ruined but Anders had never cared much for curtains anyway.

 

It was with an overwhelming sense of accomplishment that Anders eventually sat on the floor, in the center of the cottage and took it all in. For weeks, he had looked for the one thing he could do for Fenris. For the man who had not given up on him, who had not left his side even when Anders had gotten nasty and done everything he could think of to drive the elf away from him, because he was convinced it was the right thing to do.

 

The man Anders still thought he did not deserve. He doubted he’d ever think otherwise, but now, he wanted to _be_ the man Fenris deserved, instead of the monster he often thought he indeed was and that he’d hated with every fiber of his being.

 

“I found it,” Anders whispered into the silence of the night, gasping when he felt something flutter in his consciousness, something he had believed he’d never feel again. Weeks ago, he would have been terrified to feel Justice stir, now he welcomed it. Justice felt peaceful, no longer the second voice in his head that was screaming at the unexpected injustices their act of destruction in Kirkwall had caused.

 

 ** _Home_** , Justice murmured and Anders breathed out a laugh, allowing the tears that he’d held back for so long to fall.

 

 

~*~

 

Anders was up to something.

 

Something told Fenris it was _not_ something stupid, but whatever it was had the mage request that he took care of the hunting for a few days, so Fenris actually got some sleep at night. With the exception of keeping his plans concerning the Chantry in Kirkwall to himself, Anders wasn’t a very good liar and Fenris soon took notice that the mage was gone for hours, often until dawn, without bringing back the amount of prey one would expect and each time he returned, he looked dirty, exhausted and instantly fell asleep as soon as he curled up on his bedroll.

 

On the fifth night, Fenris stayed awake and waited. Keen ears listened to the sounds of the night, listened for anything unusual. Anders surprised him by returning earlier than usual and Fenris surprised Anders by still being awake and mustering him.

 

“Can’t sleep?” Anders asked as he curled up next to him.

 

“I will admit you have me a little worried,” Fenris murmured, wrapping an arm around the mage and pulling him close. “You’re not out all night _hunting_ , are you?”

 

The blond smiled. “What else would I be doing? I’m not as good as you are, I need longer.” Soft lips pressed a gentle kiss to the elf’s forehead and Fenris made a content sound in the back of his throat.

 

“You seem in good spirits,” Fenris observed and he felt Anders’ smile widen, the mage’s lips still pressed against his forehead. “Will you tell me why?”

 

“Because of you.”

 

Fenris huffed and Anders chuckled, pressing another kiss to Fenris’ forehead before planting another on the elf’s nose. Fenris made a disgruntled sound and was about to voice a complaint when those same, wonderfully soft lips found his and he found himself hum instead. It had been a while since he had last felt his mage’s naked body against his own and Fenris only now realized that he was _starving_ for that kind of contact, in a way he was only used to when he went through his heat.

 

Fenris wasn’t sure if he looked forward to the next mating season.

 

Anders made a surprised sound when Fenris rolled him on his back, covering the mage’s body with his own. There was that familiar glint in Anders’ honey-colored eyes and Fenris felt relieved they were on the same page when his hands were already working to relieve Anders of his clothes.

 

“And the real reason?” he asked, nonchalant, while Anders squirmed beneath him.

 

“ _Fenris_ ,” Anders sighed. “Maybe I have a secret, but I swear on my love for you it’s not something that will explode.”

 

Fenris paused to stare at the mage. “Did you just…try to be funny?”

 

“I…suppose?” The blond’s lips pursed. “I guess it’s not something to make fun of, is it?”

 

“No,” the elf agreed, giving the man beneath him a warm smile. “But it means you’re getting better, so I will refrain from scolding you.”

 

Anders smiled, wrapped his long limbs around the elf’s shorter frame and squeezed, causing Fenris to grunt. “I love you,” the mage whispered.

 

“You’re also making it every hard for me to breathe,” Fenris murmured.

 

“It’s only about to get worse, love.”

 

The elf chuckled against Anders’ chest, relaxing in the tight hold. “It’s good to have you back, amatus.”

 

 

Fenris was rudely woken by sunrise by strong hands lifting him and throwing him across a shoulder. His markings lit immediately, hands phasing and ready to end whoever it was that threatened them, when his eyes caught sight of a very familiar back, naked and scarred, split by cracks of blue. He shuddered in the close proximity of Fade powers, creating a song with the powers infused in his own skin and he growled in annoyance when he found himself being carried away from his bedroll.

 

“What is the meaning of this?” Fenris demanded to know as Justice strode on steadily. “Put me down immediately, demon.”

 

“ **Cease your struggling, elf** ,” Justice suggested in that unwordly voice of his, not letting himself be irritated by the elf’s anger. “ **It is time to show you**.”

 

“Show me _what_?” Fenris asked. Concern made his chest tighten. Had he been too trusting? Had it truly been Anders, spending all night ‘hunting’ or had Justice done something that had been beyond Anders’ control?

 

“ **Did you not say you trust us**?” the spirit asked.

 

“I said I trust _Anders_ ,” Fenris growled, tempted to claw on Anders’ back, yet not wanting to hurt his mate. He had caressed and kissed that beautiful back only a few hours ago, slowly soothing Anders to sleep after making love to him. Soothing away the soreness the newest scar on his back brought along. Fenris hated its sight, the only scar he wished the mage didn’t have to wear. Just looking at it made him want to go, find Sebastian and make sure he suffered.

 

He did not want to see this mate’s back cut open and bleeding, just so he could make Anders regain the upper hand of a mind shared with a petulant Fade spirit.

 

The forest soon swallowed them, their little camp out of sight within moments. It occurred to Fenris that their few belongings had been missing when he’d woken up. There had only been his bedroll. What few coin he’d had on him after fleeing from Kirkwall had been used to purchase things they needed – blankets, bedrolls, food, knives, water skins. Fenris would hate to see necessary supplies gone.

 

“Where are we going?” Fenris asked grumpily as Justice continued to carry him to a place yet unknown to him. “Do you realize you are putting a strain to his body?”

 

“ **Patience, elf** ,” Justice admonished and Fenris’ hands balled into fists with annoyance.

 

 

It didn’t feel like a particularly long walk until Justice finally put him down. Fenris swayed and stumbled forward, barely avoiding to fall flat on his face. He scowled at the spirit as soon as he collected himself.

 

“ **He was arguing with himself constantly** ,” Justice told him. Fenris frowned at the words. “ **It would not let him rest. He worries you will hate it. That you will see it as a poor substitute for what you were bereft of. It was tiring and had to end**.”

 

“What are you-?” Fenris’ head whipped around and he fell silent at the sight of the cottage. Windows and doors were wide open, airing it thoroughly with the help of the mild morning breeze. Fenris smelled dust, soil and…apples. His nose wrinkled in surprise. “What…is this place?”

 

“ **Home** ,” Justice said simply and his statement was followed by an annoyed groan that let Fenris know Anders was back in control of his body and senses.

 

“Maker, I am sorry, Fenris,” Anders murmured. “I didn’t mean for that to happen.”

 

Slowly, Fenris tore his gaze away from the cottage and glanced at his mate instead, who was rubbing his forehead like he was suffering from very bad migraine. Indeed, the shift of powers inside his body often gave the mage a headache.

 

“I found this a couple nights ago,” Anders began to explain, gesturing vaguely at the cottage. “It hasn’t been used in a while and was in need of cleaning, which…took a few hours.” He smiled sheepishly. “I have been wracking my brain about what to do to show you how…how much it means to me that you are still by my side. I know I haven’t been the easiest person to deal with and I know I have been burdening you with everything that is wrong with me and I will never understand why you didn’t simply leave…”

 

“Anders, stop,” Fenris interrupted gently. “We said, no more of this. You’re upsetting yourself again.”

 

The mage took a deep, calming breath and nodded.

 

“Is this what you were doing the past few nights? Cleaning out this place?” Fenris asked.

 

“Yes.”

 

His sweet, idiotic mate. What little anger had been left over Justice’s rude way of waking him up vanished into thin air.

 

“I brought our stuff here while you were sleeping…I went back to wake you and bring you here. But then I got worried. I mean, this isn’t Kirkwall…it’s not big and impressive like your mansion was. It’s yet another _borrowed_ house and…I know it doesn’t make up for what we had to leave behind.”

 

“And you were afraid to hear exactly _that_ from my lips,” Fenris concluded. Anders shrugged, wrapping his arms around his naked torso when he became aware of the slight morning chill. The elf allowed himself a moment to appreciate the pale skin, the bonding marks that grazed the mage’s shoulder and neck, surrounded by little love bites that would fade in a day or two, sooner if the mage wished.

 

“Where’s that confident man with the terrible humor I had on my bedroll last night?” Fenris teased gently and Anders laughed, his cheeks adopting a nice shade of pink.  “So, show me this place you have discovered.”

 

“I think I need to find my shirt first,” Anders mused and Fenris chuckled as he followed the mage inside the cottage.

 

Fenris could only guess how terrible it must have smelled in here before Anders had started to clean. A human’s olfactory system was not sensitive enough, but Fenris smelled dust, urine, fecies, mold, _death_. Amusing how they all reminded him of Danarius’ mansion. There was an inviting fire crackling, bathing the inside of the cottage in a warm, orange light. The sight of an actual bed, after months spent on hard grounds, made Fenris’ heart soar.

 

“The roof needs some repairs,” Anders said quietly. He had found his shirt in the meanwhile and was regarding Fenris cautiously. “But that wasn’t something I wanted to risk doing by myself.”

 

“A wise decision,” Fenris agreed. “I do not wish for you to break your neck, attempting to fix the roof.”

 

“Your confidence in me is…astonishing.” Anders cleared his throat as Fenris smirked. “So, uh…what do you think? Oh, did I mention there are apple trees behind the cottage? Whoever lived here before has done some farming. There’s soil outside we could use to grow vegetables…”

 

That explained the apple scent, Fenris thought, the smirk morphing into a smile as Anders continued to babble, pointing out occasionally completely _uninteresting_ details about the cottage, such as the ruined curtains he had thrown out. It felt like they were back in Kirkwall, with Fenris trying to understand not only himself, but his feelings for an anxious mage that babbled when he got nervous, or laughed when he needed to calm his nerves. That fateful summer in which he’d found himself closer to Anders than he’d ever thought he would be.

 

 _Mate_.

Home.

 

“I love it,” Fenris murmured and Anders’ nervous babbling ceased. “I love our new home, Anders.”

 

“Really?” Anders asked hesitantly.

 

“Obviously, I will have to establish some ground rules with the demon, as I have done before, and we _will_ talk about him carrying me around like a damsel in distress when he could have simply woken me up…” Fenris shot Anders a dirty look and the frown on the blond’s forehead told him Justice had heard. “But yes. I love our new home. I did say we need to find a new, safe place to call our own and you found one.”

 

There was this silly-happy smile on Anders’ face that Fenris hadn’t seen in a long time; watching it spread, watching Anders’ honey-colored eyes light up until they resembled pure, liquid gold made him aware how much he had missed it.

 

It was spreading in his chest again, the feeling of pride, this time _for_ his mate and the way he brightened up over Fenris’ praise.

 

He had chosen his mate well.

**Author's Note:**

> Come find me on [tumblr](http://lamentaslair.tumblr.com/).


End file.
